A tired mind..

At the beginning of this week, I had so many things on my mind.. Many happy things that I wanted to share here in all my excitement. Of all things, Thomi was turning one last Thursday. The sister had a small party planned at home and we were working on many things, to be done at home. And then I were to travel to Chennai taking a couple of days off, to be with the family forgetting everything else at work. I wanted to write a special birthday letter to Thomi, the little darling who has changed our lives for good. S was to join me at Chennai for the weekend and I was looking forward to the long drive back home.

Today as I’m on my return journey back to Bangalore, my mind is more tired than my body. Last three days were a blur, not of the good kind. It started with Amma falling severely sick on Thursday. A visit to the hospital, injections and medicines didn’t get her up on her feet. I have never seen Amma coil up like that and sleep unconsciously. Such high temperature she had. The party was planned and invites already sent. Rest of us had to take care of the pending arrangements while managing Thomi. She was an angel that day sticking to me, playing with whatever I gave her (or not). By evening amma was much worse but people started walking-in for the party. We quickly cut the cake and what followed next was the busiest thirty mins  of our lives. Between the four of us adults, we had to serve thirty people snacks and cake, all the while managing a little cranky Thomi. All was done.

We cleared up everything at home and rushed amma to hospital again. As expected she had to be admitted in. I stayed put with her, monitoring her through the night. I will admit that it was the scariest night of my life. As the monitor beeped every second, my eyes were glued to it. I am not an emotionally strong person unlike the sister and it took a lot of effort to not break into tears. By morning, my heart skipped few beats in between but things looked much h better. And then the morning the sister told that Thomi was running high fever too, they were at another hospital. My heart sunk lower. It was not supposed to be this way. Sigh.

When I saw the sister I cried. And that made me feel much better. Later amma started talking again and told me not to worry. At home Thomi played excitedly with me for sometime  before succumbing to fever again. Meanwhile we got Amma’s test reports and she had tested positive for typhoid. Few more injections, continuous IV and another bit so scary night at hospital, amma started talking normally this morning.

Last night as I laid on the bed next to her looking at her, I wondered how had she managed us single-handedly growing up with the sister and I falling sick often. Many a times she would rush through her work at home, run to the hospital, take care of us and then run back home to finish off pending tasks. While I fed her some idli this morning, I could see how weak she was and how our roles had reversed. Repayment of this kind never feels good. Period. Wish I could stop the clock and not see my parents age.

Thankfully amma was discharged just before I had to start to the railway station this afternoon  (S couldn’t make it which is another story) and thankfully Thomi was out of her high fever spell too.

This trip will be etched in my memory but for different reasons. It is not end of the dark tunnel yet, but I can see some light and that gives me hope. I’ll write about Thomi’s birthday soon.

PS: posting from my mobile while on the train – not grammar checking. Pls ignore any typos.

8 thoughts on “A tired mind..

  1. Hugs GB, hope your amma is better now and Thomi too. Two of the worst nightmares, aging parents and sick child ! Stay strong dear, things will be better soon.

  2. Hugs hugs and loads of hugs to you GB. Seeing your loved ones fall sick is the worst thing ever. I am glad your amma and thomi has recovered. Big hugs!

  3. GB, how is your mother now? How is Thomi? I hope things are much better when you read this. Hugs to you – I know this kind of role reversal is horrible. But it must be such a relief (in a weird way) that somehow you were all together. God Bless!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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