Letter-6 of A Letter to You

Dear S,

Many a times you tell me that there is no place for thank you or sorry in marital relationship. But then, what do I tell you for all the times I have hurt you?

I know you probably won’t even remember this. It was during the first few months of our married life together. You had come in late from office. I was very hungry. You didn’t offer to help me in the kitchen right away. I was beginning to get mad. And then all you had to do was tell me how I was making the dosa wrongly. I went crazy mad and threw the metal spoon on the tawa, walking out of the kitchen. It took me more than ten minutes to get back to normalcy and another twenty minutes to talk to you. Now that I think of it, there was no need for me to act the way I did that day. I was so mad that I didn’t even realize how I must have terrified you with my actions. Such incidents have not been repeated thankfully, but that day is etched in my memory for all wrong reasons.

All that venom I spill when I get angry, all the silent treatments I give you when I am mad – believe me, I feel ashamed and embarrassed when my senses return after I cool down. Especially since you are so nice to me and understanding. I have and am consciously making an effort to control my temper, but I don’t win over my mood every single time.

While I mend myself, all I can tell you is sorry. From the bottom of my heart.

Always in love.


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