Our differences

For anyone who knows me well enough, they would also know about how impatient I get with my unfinished tasks. When I start something, I would have to finish it on time. All through my life, as long as I can remember, I have tried to complete things before time rather than being delayed. Even while in school, I hated to do last minute studies before exam. For me to feel confident, I had to study each day’s portions on same day. Unknowingly, this habit of mine has helped me achieve some good results. I do this simply because I am like that. When I joined work as a college fresher, my manager was surprised every time I used to finish my assigned tasks well before the due date and again, without even realizing it helped me grow my technical skills much faster than expected.

Now I can’t say that this works to my advantage all time.  Especially living with someone like S, who is very cool-headed and likes to take things as they come – it gets a bit tough. Consider a simple scenario – we have to travel to Chennai. While I would like to complete everything related to it as quickly as possible, S takes his own sweet time. When he sees me panicking with the packing – both big and small, I get to hear a big lecture. We both plan everything together and while I like to finish things faster, he sticks to the plan. Needless to say, argument ensues. I get so tensed with any pending tasks that I *involuntarily* put it to the last minute that I would wake up with a jolt in the middle of the night. I can’t think of anything else but that, stripping myself of any peace.

The other aspect to this problem is, when I seek help from someone I expect that person (read S) to get to it asap. I am not sure if it’s an unrealistic expectation but that’s how I am. Let say, I tell S to clean up the stove or put the groceries in respective dabbas, I get super irritated to see him sitting glued to the TV. We both have a set of assigned tasks at home every day and while S believes that he can complete it anytime he wants, I want him to do it at the right time. Since I hate to keep nagging him (which I would end up doing at times), I get to those said tasks myself. But that doesn’t happen without me getting slightly angry. I do understand that he would get to those tasks, but when?! This uncertainty literally bugs me. Although I would like to give him his space to get things done at his own pace, I cant.

We have but slowly come to terms with this. At times I slow down for him to give him the required space and take things light. And there are times he does things quickly enough just to abide by the panicky me 🙂 I have come to realize that marriage is not about finidng the similarities but living together happily inspite of the differences 🙂

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13 thoughts on “Our differences

  1. Are you peeking into my house!!?! This is my life.. I tell B something about household task and there he will be sitting watching old cricket matches..😡 when he cannot tolerate my grumbling he will go do it. Until then I will have to remind him. Men ! 😏

  2. Oh I can so relate to the part where you say you want things done when told. I am exactly like that and Bg behaves exactly like S does. He helps out a lot but should be left to do it at his will and wish. I am also slowly learning to relax and not complain.
    So right you are, marriage is all about finding the right balance. 🙂

  3. I was like that but after the kiddo was born things changed. 😉 😉 Blame it on motherhood. Same pinch with studies. I cannot study anything new even 2 days before the exam. The last two last are just meant for revision. You know this took me back to my school days especially 12th grade. I just hate to discuss answers after coming out of exam hall. I dunno if its becoz of overconfidence or stress or tension I made a silly mistake in my math exam and I got to know about my mistake right away after coming out. It really worse and I lost 10 marks and that screwed my cutoff. Luckily physics and chemistry was over before math but the ripple effect was there in my entrance exam. Lot of drama but got into engg under govt seat quota itself. From that point on I always rush back to home/hostel after exams or hang around with other dept frnds. 😉 😉

  4. Is not that true for all relations ..to be with each other in spite of the differences

    But then they do say opposites attract each other..

    God bless you both. . Here’s wishing all the happiness always

  5. Good to see you growing as a couple. Here jay is like you. I am too lazy. I am that last minute person for everything.. *runssss and hides*

  6. I am just like you GB, I want things done on time, else I’d do it myself. Good to see you both adjusting pace for the smooth running of your household 🙂

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