For anyone who knows me well enough, they would also know about how impatient I get with my unfinished tasks. When I start something, I would have to finish it on time. All through my life, as long as I can remember, I have tried to complete things before time rather than being delayed. Even while in school, I hated to do last minute studies before exam. For me to feel confident, I had to study each day’s portions on same day. Unknowingly, this habit of mine has helped me achieve some good results. I do this simply because I am like that. When I joined work as a college fresher, my manager was surprised every time I used to finish my assigned tasks well before the due date and again, without even realizing it helped me grow my technical skills much faster than expected.
Now I can’t say that this works to my advantage all time. Especially living with someone like S, who is very cool-headed and likes to take things as they come – it gets a bit tough. Consider a simple scenario – we have to travel to Chennai. While I would like to complete everything related to it as quickly as possible, S takes his own sweet time. When he sees me panicking with the packing – both big and small, I get to hear a big lecture. We both plan everything together and while I like to finish things faster, he sticks to the plan. Needless to say, argument ensues. I get so tensed with any pending tasks that I *involuntarily* put it to the last minute that I would wake up with a jolt in the middle of the night. I can’t think of anything else but that, stripping myself of any peace.
The other aspect to this problem is, when I seek help from someone I expect that person (read S) to get to it asap. I am not sure if it’s an unrealistic expectation but that’s how I am. Let say, I tell S to clean up the stove or put the groceries in respective dabbas, I get super irritated to see him sitting glued to the TV. We both have a set of assigned tasks at home every day and while S believes that he can complete it anytime he wants, I want him to do it at the right time. Since I hate to keep nagging him (which I would end up doing at times), I get to those said tasks myself. But that doesn’t happen without me getting slightly angry. I do understand that he would get to those tasks, but when?! This uncertainty literally bugs me. Although I would like to give him his space to get things done at his own pace, I cant.
We have but slowly come to terms with this. At times I slow down for him to give him the required space and take things light. And there are times he does things quickly enough just to abide by the panicky me 🙂 I have come to realize that marriage is not about finidng the similarities but living together happily inspite of the differences 🙂