and that’s me.
As a kid I never believed in any superstitions. Even when Amma would do rituals to take off the evil eye every night, the sister and I would mock her – have fun. But over the years, I have started believing some stuff. Age and experience does teach a few things. My past three weeks have been so bad that I am nothing short of being called the ‘Queen of Jinxes’.
First, I had to think out loud and feel happy about how I never fell sick in the first two months of this year. If it was not my jinxing, why would I fall sick for a over a week? More than four sick leaves gone off in just a single week and I have the rest of the year. The worst part is I am still not well, but cant afford any more leaves for there is so much work piled up that I have to go to office. Apparently I had gone very weak with the high fever that my already fragile back decided to fail on me. And this time it is this nerve compression which is causing too much pain that at times I cant even put my left foot down. As its just not muscle strain, this pain has a mind of its own and has to reduce on its own. There isn’t much medication except for some vitamin tablets along with some relaxants. Pain killers wont work too. Sigh. I am so frustrated with the medicines, the crazy pain and not being able to be normal. I really wish its gone soon. As my luck would have it, neither my parents nor S are with me – so obviously I am feeling very low. I am trying my best to distract myself from the pain and the thought that I am all alone – but nothing is helping much. Why? Why did I have to jinx it?
At the start of year, I very happily put down how I never missed even a day’s workout the entire of last year. I was not bothered about the weight part (though S would tell you a different story, dont believe him ok? ok.) I wanted to make myself healthy. And then, I posted how I did my personal best in the walkathon a few weeks back. Guess what?! Its been 3 weeks, I did any kind of workout. I wake up feeling guilty everyday that I keep missing my exercise – though I know its not something I am doing consciously. I know I will get back to my regular workout soon, but this phase is so very frustrating. On top of this, the maid decides to change her timings and comes for work at 6.45 in the morning every day. I really dont know how insane my mornings are going to be, if I have to fit in an hour of exercise time. Why? Why did I have to jinx it?
I took up a goal to read certain number of books at goodreads this year. Until few weeks back, I was four books ahead of my schedule. I gave myself an imaginary pat on the back and kept boasting to S how I read 4 books in a week. Fast forward to now, I read nothing at all these three weeks. At least to distract myself from my insane thoughts, I am trying to read something – anything, no its not working out. Why? Why did I have to jinx it?
The only good thing is I am experimenting a lot with my camera and getting to learn a lot. But for the fear of jinxing it too – I hate my camera. I don’t want to use it at all. *Are all you jinxing angels on top of my head listening NOW?! Please get lost – I have had enough.*