I left home for my job. Parents were still young (compared to now!) and sister was with them. I went home every weekend for 3years, until I got married and had to do roller coaster ride between ILs and parents after that. Two years back, sister also got married and moved out.
Amma suffered a huge empty nest syndrome whereas dad still had his routine life, as he had his office and friends to look forward to. Now the problem is, Amma has split mind set. Her mind knows that we are going on with our lives and are happy with our husbands. The culprit that the heart is, just misses us – no matter what the mind tells. For some reason, she didn’t share this with dad also. May be she thought he wouldn’t understand. Whenever possible, we visited each other but visits are just visits, they don’t become stays. Sigh. No matter how much we reason with her, to enjoy the carefree life that she could have now – she wouldn’t agree. Thankfully, dad’s retirement came at the right time and now they have each other for company throughout the day. One would guess that things should get better, but no. Now dad suffers from this emptiness – not only that he misses us, he misses his work too.
Age is coming on them both. With age, a number of worries surround them too. Dad cannot see Amma lying down even for a minute. Even if she is only tired, he thinks she is not well and gets really worried. Most of the times, our comforting over the phone doesn’t help much. And he over-thinks. Gets tensed. Loses sleep. And then during doctor check, his BP shoots up – which scares amma a lot. And now she loses sleep. I get worried knowing that there is nothing I am able to do.
And they become quite unreasonable. Like this – A number of times I have told Amma to be careful in our backyard while plucking flowers for God. She would brush it off saying nothing would happen. And just like that, she got stung by a huge honey bee and had her hand swollen to three times the actual size that she could hardly lift her finger. She dared dad not to tell this to us.
The other time, she saw a very little snake in a hibiscus flower. She was scared, for just one day. Or, the time when a huge snake entered our home and amma was all alone. Again, she was terrified only for a couple of days. She still continues to leave all the doors open all through the day.
Where do I start with dad.. Sigh. He is used to being at work every single day. He is easily bored these days and finds all sort of stuff to engage himself. Like the other day, he climbed onto a coconut tree using a ladder. What if he loses balance? One time he was trying a fix our showcase glass door himself. Accidentally it fell on him and left a huge scar on his left hand.
The incidents are many. How can I even try to reason with them, if they not tell us in the first place? Only after a few months, they bring it out in the open. And even if I try to talk, they would not listen which only increases my worries for them.
How I wish they can be within my reach all the time…. Sigh.