When did I become this person that I don’t recognize anymore? When did I turn so bitter, vengeful and mean? And most importantly why?
So S invited a couple of families that I least expected to our house warming function. Nothing wrong or bad. But when he broke this news to me, I was so mad that I could feel the fumes coming out of my ears. Just so we were in our morning walk and that I cant scream, I was silent. All the while letting the anger boil inside. Yes, I didnt expect these people at our family gathering. More than that, I didn’t expect S to do that to me, without my knowledge. Of course it was not intentional on his part. He didn’t think once before taking those decisions, forget discussing with me. Of everything happening, this was the least I expected from S. Most of my hurt was from the fact that I was not aware of our own guest list. Again, it was not intentional on part of S. If it had been, he would have never shared it with me. In his defense, he says he didn’t feel that to be such a big thing to be shared with me. And I lost it again. In the end, it was more and more hurt. I refused to speak to him even after he accepted his mistake and said sorry like a 100times and when I did, I kept going back to the same incident. So much that I pushed him to the very edge, that left him feeling very hurt.
That’s when I got thinking. This is so not me. Who are these people anyway? I hardly met them during our wedding. If these people can push to such an extent that I can hurt my husband, its not good. There is a lot of stuff going on, and I just lost it on this particular issue. I went up to S, said a sincere sorry and promised not to talk about the incident again. I have been feeling guilt ever since. I cant get to take off that image of S with pleading, sad eyes looking at me from my mind. When did I become this beast?! Sigh.
Most of the weekend was gone with all this stupidity on my part and if there was some saving grace, that’s our artwork together. S was completely ok within a couple of minutes, back to teasing me and making me laugh. I wonder how can he be so nice all the time and very patient with all my anger testing on him.
So, back to the happy times. S got me almost 8 new bottles and I had been on a roll. After the first couple I made, I made a center piece that could go with the both of Love themed ones and I liked them a set. Just as sister expected, I said I would love to keep all of them for myself. When she was about to explode, I made her the same theme on mini-wine bottles. Now those looked absolutely cute and she was back to her happy self 😀
I made a couple of peacocks on beer bottles with alternating colors.
The last set that I made yesterday were with the mini-wine bottles again, with some vibrant colors. I tried different textured patterns with thread and added some more paint later. For something I thought should take less than an hour, these took almost two hours.
I have many more bottles but the fact that there is no place to put these kind of made me give a break. Once I give away some of these, I will be back painting more. I almost forgot to mention, Amma has been so mad at me for bringing these used wine bottles home. I don’t know how her reaction would be, if I drop those peacock painted bottles over to her 😀