A family function. All of us kids along with a couple of elders were sleeping on the terrace on a very hot humid night. I had my Amma next to me and the sister on the other side. The same was not the case when I got up the next morning. Amma was nowhere to be seen – may be she got up early to catch up with the house work already. One of the elder cousins’ leg was on me and his hand over my chest. He was trying to kiss me or so I think now. It took me all of ten minutes to get out of his hold and all this time he tried to close my mouth so that I wont wake up the other cousins. I was 10 years old then.
Electric train. We were going to the Central to catch our train, the one which could take us to our grandparents, where we were supposed to have wonderful summer holidays. The electric train was crowded. Dad was struggling to get in with all the luggage, at the same time getting us all in too. Suddenly, I felt a hard pinch on my left breast. With teary eyes, I made it inside the crowded compartment trying to understand what had just happened or who did it. I wondered why Amma had pestered me to wear a duppatta on my long skirt – top. I was 10 years old then.
A family outing. We all were enjoying the fun rides at the newly opened theme park – Kishkintha. There was this beautiful floating bridge over a man-made pond. I pestered all of us to go over it, for I had never walked on one. Just while I was keeping up with my parents, I felt a hand reach my breast and hip at the same time – two big squeezes. My joy was killed right at that moment. All the way back, I wondered why this happened in-spite of me wearing a duppatta just as Amma asked me to. I was 10 years old then.
These are my very first (and definitely not the last) encounters to sexual assault. No matter how hard I try, I cant get these out of my head. Except for the first one, I have shared it all with my Amma. What could I have done or how could I have attracted someone at an age of ten? I don’t understand.
My heart goes out to the 6-yr old who was raped in the Bangalore school. The question in my head remains the same – how could someone do this to a baby?!
I am speechless and I am speechless out of anger.