Stepping Forward..

Last week started great – spent the first two days enjoying in Chennai. Came back to work on Wednesday, felt slightly ill but nothing new after a trip to Chennai. Things got worse after I went home that evening. I was running mild temperature and was very tired. Took a tablet and went to bed, but hardly slept through the night. I was haunted by bad bad dreams, thanks to my high fever. I got up feeling sore, the thermometer read 102.7deg. With absolutely no energy to even get up, I managed breakfast and another tablet. With that, every hour the temperature kept increasing – dropping only for a brief period.

S was very busy with work in Chennai, having gone back only a day before. The fact that I was all alone and severely ill made all of us very scared. He worked at lightning speed to come back to me asap, even by skipping meals in between. At one point, when my fever was as high as 104.3deg and I was totally helpless, I cried. Even if I tried hard, boiling water was a huge task for me – let alone climb down two stories to catch an auto and find a doctor.

I wished to go back being that little girl in my amma’s care, who would sit by me until I fell asleep soothing my breathing with her gentle hands. Life seemed so simple and hassle-free then. Only if I was a little kid again, where there was no distance between me and my loved ones, where I didn’t have to feel lonely at all. Sigh.

I completely understand S’s stand. He was as helpless as me. He had a hell lot of work in front of him and then there I was, barely even in the talking condition. He came to me quite fast, considering the circumstances. Still, a tiny bit of me felt hurt. He was not with me, when I need him the most. Yet I am not holding it against him, I know he wanted the same as me.

This is one of the scenarios I was very scared right from the time I started living alone. What if something happens to me?! Now that I have crossed that bridge, I can only say that I am a tad bit stronger considering what I have gone through in that one day.


Today, I am moving on to my 7th year at work, in this organization which swallowed me straight out of college. It feels surreal that 6 years have gone by so fast. There is still a lot for me to learn, while some bigger challenges and roles await me 🙂

20 thoughts on “Stepping Forward..

  1. Hugs GB. How are you now?
    Nothing beats having our mother side when sick.
    In the recent times, I am really scared to stay alone at nights. I don’t know why. May be going to bed after seeing the news, is not doing good I guess.
    Congrats on completing six years. Here is to many more promotions, hikes and mainly job satisfaction 🙂

  2. I hope you are feeling much better now. I can totally understand that line .. what if something happens.. true that. .

    I remember I had to have a little op and I was so nervous .. what if.. no one will even know about me fr daysssss…

    But then that is life.. not to worry nothing is going to happen to anyone.. it will all be fine..

    And 7 years wowow congrats on that..heres wishing you all the best and happy learning and may you reach all the goals you plan to …

    Take yoir medicines on time..

    • Yes, I am feeling much better now Bik. And I totally understand you. You will feel all the more lonely only when you are sick and desperate. The feeling that no one ever knows if something happens to you, hurts a lot.

      I will take your word for it – I hope it will all be fine 🙂

      Thanks a lot for such nice words 🙂

  3. Take care GB! You should have gone to doc, the instant you realized you had fever. With such fever later, it is obviously impossible to do anything! We miss amma so much at such times, don’t we? 😦 Hope you are feeling better now.

    Congratulations on completing six years!! 🙂 Great going!

    • The problem was, I didnt realize I had high fever until I was completely down with it. And living on 2nd floor came as a real drawback. There was no way I could take one step. I only cried for my amma, that day and missing her ever since.

      Thanks a lot Arch 🙂

  4. Hope you are feeling better now. Living alone is hard ,especially at times of illness.So be proud that you managed it all. Oh and like you , I too picture myself on my mom’s lap whenever I am sick. Life was truly so simple then!!

    • I am feeling much better Pop 🙂 Cant agree with you more – living alone is hard at the times of illness. And and, I would give anything to go back to my mom’s lap now 🙂

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