Last week started great – spent the first two days enjoying in Chennai. Came back to work on Wednesday, felt slightly ill but nothing new after a trip to Chennai. Things got worse after I went home that evening. I was running mild temperature and was very tired. Took a tablet and went to bed, but hardly slept through the night. I was haunted by bad bad dreams, thanks to my high fever. I got up feeling sore, the thermometer read 102.7deg. With absolutely no energy to even get up, I managed breakfast and another tablet. With that, every hour the temperature kept increasing – dropping only for a brief period.
S was very busy with work in Chennai, having gone back only a day before. The fact that I was all alone and severely ill made all of us very scared. He worked at lightning speed to come back to me asap, even by skipping meals in between. At one point, when my fever was as high as 104.3deg and I was totally helpless, I cried. Even if I tried hard, boiling water was a huge task for me – let alone climb down two stories to catch an auto and find a doctor.
I wished to go back being that little girl in my amma’s care, who would sit by me until I fell asleep soothing my breathing with her gentle hands. Life seemed so simple and hassle-free then. Only if I was a little kid again, where there was no distance between me and my loved ones, where I didn’t have to feel lonely at all. Sigh.
I completely understand S’s stand. He was as helpless as me. He had a hell lot of work in front of him and then there I was, barely even in the talking condition. He came to me quite fast, considering the circumstances. Still, a tiny bit of me felt hurt. He was not with me, when I need him the most. Yet I am not holding it against him, I know he wanted the same as me.
This is one of the scenarios I was very scared right from the time I started living alone. What if something happens to me?! Now that I have crossed that bridge, I can only say that I am a tad bit stronger considering what I have gone through in that one day.
Today, I am moving on to my 7th year at work, in this organization which swallowed me straight out of college. It feels surreal that 6 years have gone by so fast. There is still a lot for me to learn, while some bigger challenges and roles await me 🙂