My Random Thoughts on Happiness, Settlement, Success and Such Like

Of late, I am thinking a LOT (Now, that’s not new – my mind is never free). What does success mean in life? Does success and settlement mean the same? Scoring high marks all throughout my life, making my parents happy and working in a dream company means I have succeeded? Does it also mean happiness? I have not settled at all. Neither has S. We are yet to have our home, our kids and settle in a place where we could call home. Does that mean, I am not happy? I seem to not find answers. I feel contented but the question of settlement brings a worry. I know I have 4 more years before we both turn 30, but will that time be enough for us to settle down? But what does settlement mean? Getting married, having kids and feeling contented that my life is according to the norms the society has set for us? I have no answer. There are always a bunch of people around us, to reinforce all these thoughts and then I spend sleepless nights. But after a lot of thinking, I realize that it’s my life and others can have no say in it.

One of my long lost school friend got in touch with me through FB, after 11 years. She was a very dull student throughout school and failed her 10th std. I didn’t see her after that. I got to know that her parents married her off in a few months. Now, she is a mother of two adorable kids and has a beauty parlour of her own. She seemed really happy with how life is treating her. That brings me to the question of importance of studies. Didn’t she fail her 10th std? I know education is important. But that’s not the sole thing that decides the happiness or future, isn’t it? One needs to be street smart too, knowing how to survive in this big wide world.

I know some of my friends who are now stay-at-home mommies, having a good time with their kids. Once the morning pressure is over, they have a lot of time in their hands – they can do whatever they want. Sometimes when I wish my life was like that, they tell me they would love my life. Going to office everyday, meeting new people, learning new stuff, having self-earned money and all that. I guess its always greener on the other side. Both of us wouldnt dare changing how everything is working as of now, but we crib.

My thoughts become too coagulated with all this thinking. Its best if I just focus on this moment rather than think about the future, is what I conclude everytime!

Am I weird? 🙄

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24 thoughts on “My Random Thoughts on Happiness, Settlement, Success and Such Like

  1. GB, your conclusion is right, the thoughts like flowing water come and go. Like how you mention it all starts of like this and when you have kids you have the next dilemma SAHM or WM or WFH mom… So i say it never ends. Just live the moment is what i feel.
    Education along with street smartness is the need of the hour very true. I also think settlement is never a thing that you can say you are done right. You always keep getting newer and higher targets….

    • Thanks for such an insightful comment Sumana, it makes me feel better 🙂

      Yeah, that is something I feel too There are always newer and higher targets. We cant call it a settlement until we have retired and have got no more energy to work.

  2. You know its nothing but natural to feel this way. We all keep churning our head but as long as we are happy, I think it is fine. We keep comparing the lives we are leading with what our life would be after few years, or with same – age friends or with what an ideal life should be or worst with what other think or our life. But we need to strike a balance and really like you said taking each day as it comes, is the key.

  3. The ‘what-ifs’ will be many and aplenty,
    The ‘how-so’ will also be sitting pretty,
    Thinking and thinking the day will be over,
    and you will have lost one day in your precious life

    So the focus should be to enjoy ‘now’ 😉

  4. No you are not…..there are days when I yearn to leave my job be a SAHM. When I dream like that I also dream of working from home but working on something that I love, like baking, writing etc.

    Yes, education is important but it is not everything……there are things for which you don’t need education plus it is not necessary na that if one is not well in studies then he or she cannot do anything (though our society makes us think that only) and your friend is a bright example of this theory.

    But the crux of the matter is that we should know what we want from life and then chase it because there is no point in thinking of what can happen or what could have happened. Our life is nothing but the choices that we make.

    • Thanks for telling me that I am not! 🙂 Yeah, I guess all of us have phases like this! I too dont think I can quit everything and stay at home full time. I am sure to get bored in less than first five days.

      Yeah.. I so glad her life has turned out so well. For the number of beatings and scolding she would get from everyone around her, this is totally unexpected. This is one of the reasons why our educational system shouldnt just look at the marks and grades.

      You summed it up so well. Thanks for such wise words Smita. 🙂

      PS – Sorry for replying so late.
      PS –

  5. Your life should be the implication of yours and your family only! never think about the society, they will never come up and never let other to come up! I am younger to you GB I can suggest you to hear your soul and S, you both are the life what you are making it, the norms is also created by a human who is or are or were bound to change! Never create a norm or stick to one, just change them the way you want it. Its one single life, never belittle, enjoy to the fullest, as you said you still have time to plan for future, just keep a target every year, achieve it and you will be their in the pinnacle that you loved to reach. but make very sure when you stand on the top and look at the path way you have crossed it must be full of green and afresh. My sister is just like you, she planned for kid only at the age of 29, so never worry! live the life as there is no tomorrow! everything will fall in its place 🙂 🙂 hugs 🙂 🙂 things will be fine and you can make all your dreams come true 🙂 🙂 ismile 🙂

    • Sorry for such a late reply Chipmunk! Coming over here after a long time.

      The first sentence stuck on to me like gel. Yes my life is my own implication and I cant think about society. Age doesnt matter when you can so wise like this Chipmunk. I will keep all of this mind. Hopefully I shouldnt go crazy like this again 🙂

  6. Very natural GB. It is a good sign such thoughts come up because it shows our pursuit for finding happiness, contentment and appreciating what we have. We would be stale potatoes if we just don’t think, right? As long as we are striving to be better and lead more meaningful lives, there is nothing wrong. But too much of worrying over it may take the joy away. We are after all living one day at a time. So it follows, that we change one step at a time so that teh change stays with us and doesn’t become another forgotten one time miracle.

    I may break your heart but trust me, the concept of “settlement” hasn’t ever been defined adn will never be. I think we were settled only during some stages of childhood. Even then, I think we wanted to grow up 😛 After that, we always have something, exams, uni, jobs, home, marriage and kids for those who wish, then insurance, buying a bigger place, having some investment, travelling, hobbies, further studies, children’s studies, planning their funds etc. All this is the routine thingy.Amidst all this, we have out own wishlists. And the endeavour to better ourselves – where is the time to settle?

    Teh best thing is to take this nomadic phase for granted and enjoy as much as we can and derive little pleasures everyday 🙂

    • Sorry for such a late reply Kismi. Coming to my blog after a long long time.

      Everything you said makes perfect sense. There are times like these I lack clarity all of a sudden and forget the obvious stuff. I am glad I have friends like you in my life, who can redirect me towards sanity. 🙂

  7. I loved this post so much because every woman of our life style can relate so very well.. As I was reading, I was wondering what the conclusion would be and I was happy to read that as well 🙂 The other side is always green 😛

  8. You are right..The settling down never happens..As Visha says the best option that we can do is to enjoy the “now”. With dual income becoming a necessity to middle class these days we cannot tell no to corporate life as well…And kids are a looming question in such a hectic lifestyle. This too will pass…

    But let me part with a gem of my wisdom..”Just listen to your heart” If your dream is as a SAHM it is perfectly fine to go about it. If it is to be a hot shot career lady..Go ahead!!

  9. Hugs GB!! I am sure you are feeling much better now that you have been to Chennai 🙂
    You are right, grass is always greener on other side 🙂
    I too sometimes feel that i missing out on the important years of my career, but then i think about chance that i have got to do and learn different things!! Ultimately it all boils down to your state of mind..

    • Thankfully, these thoughts have moved on TM 🙂 I am thinking in phases which circle again and again. I am sure it would come back again 🙂

      So right. It boils down to our state of mind. Its up to us to feel happy or sad abt our choices.

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