Of late, I am thinking a LOT (Now, that’s not new – my mind is never free). What does success mean in life? Does success and settlement mean the same? Scoring high marks all throughout my life, making my parents happy and working in a dream company means I have succeeded? Does it also mean happiness? I have not settled at all. Neither has S. We are yet to have our home, our kids and settle in a place where we could call home. Does that mean, I am not happy? I seem to not find answers. I feel contented but the question of settlement brings a worry. I know I have 4 more years before we both turn 30, but will that time be enough for us to settle down? But what does settlement mean? Getting married, having kids and feeling contented that my life is according to the norms the society has set for us? I have no answer. There are always a bunch of people around us, to reinforce all these thoughts and then I spend sleepless nights. But after a lot of thinking, I realize that it’s my life and others can have no say in it.
One of my long lost school friend got in touch with me through FB, after 11 years. She was a very dull student throughout school and failed her 10th std. I didn’t see her after that. I got to know that her parents married her off in a few months. Now, she is a mother of two adorable kids and has a beauty parlour of her own. She seemed really happy with how life is treating her. That brings me to the question of importance of studies. Didn’t she fail her 10th std? I know education is important. But that’s not the sole thing that decides the happiness or future, isn’t it? One needs to be street smart too, knowing how to survive in this big wide world.
I know some of my friends who are now stay-at-home mommies, having a good time with their kids. Once the morning pressure is over, they have a lot of time in their hands – they can do whatever they want. Sometimes when I wish my life was like that, they tell me they would love my life. Going to office everyday, meeting new people, learning new stuff, having self-earned money and all that. I guess its always greener on the other side. Both of us wouldnt dare changing how everything is working as of now, but we crib.
My thoughts become too coagulated with all this thinking. Its best if I just focus on this moment rather than think about the future, is what I conclude everytime!
Am I weird? 🙄