Five years back, exactly on this day I took a journey that changed my life forever. I wasnt sure of my decision. I felt quite anxious about everything that was happening around me and yet I had to move out of my comfort zone, from the people who mean a life to me. On June 13, 2008 I left Chennai, a place I consider home to a completely new place – Bangalore looking forward to join my first job. There were a hundred questions running in my mind to which I had no answers. This day is etched in my memory as good as my first day at work, in a completely new place.
For a person, who has never left home even to stay at a relatives place without her parents, relocation was a hard thing. As much as I looked forward to having a dream job and getting my pay check, leaving my loved ones behind was very tough. Exactly at this hour, that day I and amma got into a KSRTC bus with dad, sister and S bidding me farewell. With tears rolling down my cheeks I waved them good bye, with them running along with the bus holding my hands through the window. I dont remember sleeping the entire night and many more nights after that – not able to bear the pain of missing my family.
On June 16th, I would complete five years at my organization, my first job, my dream job! I would receive my first service award next week infront of my team but it feels like just yesterday I took that most haunting journey to this new place. There have been a million moments I have hated myself from being away from my family, not able to reach them the moment I think about them. Then there have been a number of occasions I have disliked this place to the core. I hardly had friends here and those happened to be near me were cruel to me, making my life miserable. If there was one thing that kept me going, its my job! Everyday I would look forward to a new morning, a new beginning and a new day at work. It has kept me passionate with an urge to learn new things everyday. I wouldnt deny the fact that there were some dull or boring moments too, but I have looked at it as my break between challenging works 🙂
This day has made me realize a number of things. For a person who had thought of life as a blanket of roses, I was shown only thorns. It was as if I was pushed into a pool of water to learn swimming on my own. I was shown not to believe anyone blindly. I was shown to work hard to taste success. I was shown that it was easy to quit but quitters aren’t winners. I was shown I can live on my own. I was shown a side of myself that I was not aware that it existed. I struggled hard, I worked hard. I never smiled, or never have a reason to smile while I was here. But the minute I see my family, see their happiness, a joy filled my heart. I wanted to see more of it and thats what kept me going.
Being the eldest daughter of the family, I assumed responsibility from dad the minute I got my first pay check. For the first time, I felt something that I had never felt before. I felt responsible for my family. I wanted to relieve all of our financial burdens and worked towards it. For the first time in life, learnt that money is essential and can bring happiness. I cant begin to say what all sacrifices mom and dad made for us. It was my time to show them to live life. Relatives started pouring in, from all directions. Some to feel envious of our good position, some to get financial benefits from us, some to just talk behind our backs! Somehow it made me feel happy – let them talk at our backs, let them feel jealous, let them get help from us – which just means we are in a good position than them, those who insulted us, ignored us!
Its been a long journey so far, from where I have come. Everyday is a new day and I keep learning a lot of things both at work and personal life. I cant think of how my life would have been, if I had not taken that bus that night, leaving all my loved ones.