You happen to do it again this year, to raise above me – to stay an year older than me for the next four months. You know how I feel about this, dont you? I become restless and want the time to travel so fast that I can catch up with you soon, to be in the same age as you as soon as it hits Feb. But S, it really doesn’t matter to you. I sometimes wonder how would our married life be, if I were the one four months elder to you. Would it have made any difference? Of course we would have had much tougher time convincing our parents, but then deep inside at least you would have felt the same, I know.
S, this is the second birthday of yours that I am getting to celebrate as your wife and I cant really believe we both are not together. I kept dreaming about this day, for the last two months. Birthdays excite me, though we grow older. I had been planning to bake the best cake ever. I had been wishing to shower you with surprises all through out the day. I wanted to somehow take this day off and wanted to be with you. I wanted to cook your favorite recipes. I wished to listen to you, obey you for the entire day and may be that’s why, I accepted to come back to this empty house without you. I get to do none of these now, but I am happy I listened to you. I am happy we are sticking to our decision, the big one no matter what.
S you know, in all the eight years I have known you this is the first time I haven’t wished you happy birthday in person. This is the first time, I am not able to get you anything. Remember my first gift to you? We were “just friends” then, and I spent 125Rs on a watch that you liked from a roadside shop on your birthday. My wallet remained empty for the next five days, until dad gave me my weekly quota of money but I was still happy, I could gift you something you liked. I hate to say it, but I have a wallet with a few hundred rupee notes now but then I dont have you next to me and you have no desire for small materialistic gifts. You are so focused, responsible and cant think of anything beyond your goal now. Frankly S, for all these days I only had been paying attention to the child in you that I almost never knew when you started acting like an adult. You refused my idea of shopping for your birthday, that one time thing that we get to do for hours together just before your birthday. Sigh! Only when I had been thinking, you are a completely changed person now – you put across your face of confusion last night, just before I had to board the train. You had half a mind to come down with me, to spend time with me, not to disappoint me. Though my face was straight, I was smiling within. You are my S, after all. The one whom I know inside out. I know with whom I fell in love.
I still love it when you claim that I’m your all time first birthday wisher, though the approach is a bit tweaked. You being the naughty one right from the childhood, went ahead to change your date of birth from 3rd Oct to 4th Oct just like that. Even your mum doesn’t recall your real birthday. I am the only one who gets to you wish on the 3rd while the rest of your friends clan stick to the 4th. I get to wish you first before everyone else does. And I also get to celebrate your birthday not just for one day, but two days in a row – thanks to your childhood naughtiness. 🙂 I dont think there is anyone else out there, who has this privilege!
S, this year its going to be nothing but a regular day (or days!) for both of us. I know we would be busy through out, not even having a few minutes time to talk during the day and end up being dog tired by the evening. I am sorry, I couldnt stay back with you to have fun with you today. I had been casually mentioning this to you last night, when you pointed out that there is nothing to be sorry about and we would have more fun during the weekend. Ya right, but the moment would be lost! May be the refusal for getting a new shirt, saying no to cute little gifts and postponing the birthday fun is all about growing up I guess. I am yet to reach that point in my life and it does feel weird to me. Until then, do nothing but put up with me and my crankiness. Though I feel like pouring my heart out, I am failing miserably as my thoughts are too incoherent. All I am ending up thinking is, its your birthday today and I dont get to be with you. Sigh! I know you would understand.
Nevertheless, I wish you to be happy always. Be the same forever. Try and chase your dreams and be successful. I will stand by you, come what may ever. I would only suggest you one thing – Dont lose the child in you. Here’s to wishing you many many happy, peaceful and healthy birthdays to come! As you said, we would have double dhamaka next year! 🙂