Note: GB is not feeling so good today and hence, pouring her heart out into this blog. Skip the first three paras, if you are looking for only apple crumble recipe.
Everyone who knows me well enough knows about my short temper, but I get angry only for a reason – that is if its justified. No.. this is no excuse to be get angry or shout/scream, but I am just saying. Most of the times, I try to remain silent. But sometimes I end up saying whatever I feel – hurting the other person (being my family or S) . I am trying hard to change this behavior of mine, but some things cant be changed that easily. S is a person who can be the God of Patience. He understands each of his words, thinks a lot before speaking. But me? words just come out like stings! That is if I decide to talk. Even if I lose my patience, he will be calm.. until the situation comes under control. May be that’s why its believed marriages are made in heaven. I cant imagine how the situation would be, if both of us are yelling or both of us are silent. Life wouldn’t move forward at all. Now why all this rambling, you may ask. I happened to think how my anger is affecting me and how I should be, if things needs to change.
The other problem with me is.. once I am angry, I go into a shell. I can only come out of it, if the other person understands the mistake and is ready to talk about it. Whenever I have a minor argument/fight with S, I expect him to come around to discuss why we had that argument and what we could have done to avoid it, given that I would only be angry if he did something that irritates me. S being S, cant do all this analysis before he comes down to calm me which leads to another argument. Men are wired not to think that way, I know. He just wants me to forget whatever has happened and be normal which is impossible for me. There is only one thing that I like the most about all this drama. I will try to explain him the things that he wouldn’t understand straight away, he listens patiently and we will come to an agreement. For all this to happen, I must cool down. Fights or arguments that happen in the late evening or just before bed time are the worst. I cant sleep peacefully until all this is resolved and by the time I am willing to talk, S would be snoring off to glory! The next morning would make me very grumpy – first unresolved fight and second – he slept off. Poor guy will forget everything in the morning and comes to hug me, only to get shooed away. We are somehow managing better for all these 17 months, God knows how we are still together under the same roof. I sometimes feel, S is too good for me or I am not good enough for him. Even after me shouting at him or giving him silent treatment, he comes around as if nothing happened. What did I do to deserve this love from him? Am I not hurting him too much, by saying words or being silent? I know I am and thats why I wish to change, which is not easy enough.
Going over to what happened over this morning which made me think a lot – I was not feeling quite well from yesterday evening and S was super kind to have prepared me nice dinner of rice, carrot-beans fry and dal. It couldnt have been perfect – I was so happy while going to bed. Next thing I know, I woke at mid-night to have terrible headache and I couldn’t sleep at all. After trying to sleep until 5.30, I got up. Feeling even sick and weak, I decided to prepare some simple lunch – vegetable rice. In the meantime, I got a call from my office too. I had a meeting at 8.30, so I was already rushing. Since one of my colleagues is on leave, I am acting as his back-up too. I had no idea he left most of his work incomplete and I had to complete it before my meeting. So, I was juggling between kitchen and my laptop. S had no idea of any of this until he got up at just the right time that leaves him no room for anything but getting ready. I had to pack the dabbas and then prepare breakfast too. While I am at it, he comes to say he is leaving and he doesnt want anything. I dont know why exactly – I broke down. Yes! Its been a long long time, I cried that hard.. that too infront of him who hates to see me cry. I was feeling sick, not even able to stand and then there was office pressure and then the thought of why S didnt get up early to help me on top of which he is refusing the food I cooked too. I cried continuously for 10-15 mins like a kid. He tried to console me not even knowing the reason why I am crying. It took me a while to talk to him and for him to understand. Later he dropped me in my office, for the meeting. And then I find the meeting has been pushed out. I am feeling terrible inside right now. I know how busy he is at his office. He had to go early. He is tired too. I am just feeling so terrible. He even told me sorry, or my actions have made him to whereas he was not required to. I have no energy to talk/write more of this. I need some time to think over this all alone, once I feel physically better.
Now that I have poured my heart out, going to the recipe. Most of you asked me for the Apple crumble and Dosa Recipes. I promise I will put up dosa recipes by the weekend. And here is the apple crumble recipe now 🙂
Ingredients: (for just more than 2 serves)
- Apple – 1 (Supposed to use golden or granny smith apple. I had only red apple, I just made sure its firm and it worked well for me)
- Maida – 50 gms or 1 small cup
- Sugar powdered – 2 or 3 tbsp (supposed to be less sweet, adjust if you want the crumble to be sweeter)
- Butter (not frozen, but cold enough to cut into cubes) – 25 gms or 1/2 cup (the same small cup used for maida)
- Salt – a pinch
- Cinnamon Powder – 1 tsp
- Core the apples – peel off the skin and remove the centre part of the apple. Dice it into thin slices.
- Arrange the cut apple into the baking dish as below. Make sure there are no gaps in between. Try to fill in completely. You can also grease the baking dish with little butter before arranging the apple slices, which I didn’t do and it turned out no differently.
- Take a mixing bowl and add the maida, salt and cinnamon powder and mix well.
- Cut the cold butter into the little cubes and add it to the maida mix.
- Gently mix the butter together until there is a crumbly mixture. Cold butter is the key to this.
- Add the sugar finally and mix well. The crumble is ready to top the apple slices.
- Spread the crumble mix evenly on top of the diced apples and press it gently with the back of a spoon or using your thumb. This is to make sure, we have a good biscuit texture with the crumble.
- Pre-heat the oven at 200°C in toast mode for 15 mins.
- Put the baking dish into the oven and bake at 200°C for 30 mins or until the crumble is golden brown.
- I wanted the crumble to be extra crisp and somehow my crumble was not turning golden brown. So, I had to put it up on grill/toast mode for additional 10 mins. Only then, I could smell of the cinnamon and biscuit 🙂 But be careful when its on toast mode. I left it for additional 2 mins as I was reading a book and it would have been a disaster if I had not taken it out on time. As the crumble has very simple ingredients, it can turn golden brown quite fast in toast mode – watch out for it.
- Take out the baking dish and let it rest for some 5 mins. Serve immediately with Vanilla ice cream. Hot and cold makes it a perfect evening dessert 🙂 In my case, I had to wake up S from his deep Sunday afternoon slumber 😀
Its really simple to prepare with only half an hour time for baking. The biscuity textured crumble with cinnamon flavored apples go perfectly well with ice cream. Do try it and let me know how you all liked it 🙂