During the olden days when a relationship or marriage broke, blame was always on the guy to have ditched the girl. It was always the same or only that kind of incidents came into light. Things are changing now and the other side of the story is coming into picture too. Of late I have been hearing only stories where the guys have been cheated. Its good that these incidents are coming out at least now. I am not here to say that all women are gems. They are not (!) just like the fact that not all men are bad. We are all humans controlled by emotions and hormones. These days marriages and relationships are taken for granted and these incidents have been upsetting me for a long long time now and what else is the better place to put that up than on my blog.
Incident 1 – (The guy changed his mind after engagement)
The guy ( lets call him G1) is my friend’s bro. He had a grand engagement in one of the biggest halls in Chennai with a girl his parents chose to which he agreed. The girl’s family had spent a lump sum for the engagement function inviting around 1000 ppl. The wedding date was finalized leaving a gap of around 4 months. This duration would be sufficient for the couple to know each other better or so did the families think. When only a month was left for the wedding, G1 came home with another girl whom he had married already. They had a register marriage done with the help of friends and came home to give everyone a shock. Upon questioning, G1 said that he was in relationship with this girl for a long time and was frightened to let the family know. But how could he not let them know even when the engagement and wedding dates were getting fixed? What about the girl whose life I don’t know is saved or lost due to him? Her parents spent so much with high hopes and dreams. Everyone was invited and how shameful of him to get married with the girl he loved after being engaged to another girl. This is definitely not a clear decision from his end. I am upset for the girl but she is really saved before her wedding.
Incident 2 – (The girl broke the wedding)
I am not going to be judgemental in this incident and would want to say whatever has happened only. This girl happens to be S’s college friend. College topper and a very good girl. She is really sweet and nice, I have been with her. She was working in a reputed s/w firm when her parents fixed her wedding. The guy was about 7 yrs older than her, working in US. The wedding was such a grand event. She quit her job, got married, went US to get settled there. Within an year, she has come back India not wanting to live with him. The reason for her breakup – she is not able to adjust. Her own family has disowned her. Even her friends are not supportive to her. They claim that her husband is a nice guy but she is the one who didn’t like the marriage from the beginning. She literally spoiled her life as well as her partner’s in case if there are no other problems. She could have avoided this marriage by speaking to her parents. She is now staying with her aunt trying to find a job again. Why all this trouble when things could have been solved easier?
Incident 3 – (The girl eloped after the wedding)
I cant do nothing but feel pity for this guy (lets call him G2). G2 is a North Indian working in Chennai. His parents fixed a match for him and he happily accepted it. Everything was fine and engagement took place too. After coming back from the ceremony, G2 was giving a treat to all his friends (for getting engaged). He gets a call from his fiance to tell him that she in a relationship with some other guy. She wanted him to somehow tell his parents to call off the wedding. She also made him spoke to the guy she was in relationship with, both of them asking him to let them live. What is he supposed to do now? The poor had tears flowing down it seems. In less than 2 days, she said all that was a drama and she was just being playful with him. What a superb game plan.. the poor guy G2 fell for it. Soon it was the time of wedding. he had even planed his honeymoon in Thailand. After the wedding, they were coming back to Chennai in train. The girl was missing from the train in the morning. Looks like she had a pucca plan in hand and had got down in some station during the night. He has given a police complaint on the girl going missing. He had to hid his face to every question that was asked to him after his return. Poor guy!
Incident 4 – (The girl broke up within a month of wedding)
This is again on an arranged marriage. Right after the wedding, they found that the girl wasn’t very interested about anything happening around her. For a month or so, she was very silent, not speaking to anyone. They thought she is getting accustomed to the new house and gave her that time. But suddenly she told her husband that she was in love with a guy and would want to live with him only. She asked him to let her go. Not knowing what to do, he let her go. Did he have any other choice? He was literally into the wedding for only a month so his parents wanted him to re-marry given the fact that his wife is also living happily. But they didn’t have much luck as the girl’s parents had spread the word that the guy is impotent and that’s the reason their girl left him. How bad… His parents are now having a hard time getting him a girl again. His life is screwed up for none of his mistakes.
These incidents only make me very upset. Most of them don’t understand what it means to get into a relationship and to make it work. Parents are also to be blamed here who think its their decision to choose the girl/boy for their children. Give a chance to your children too – after all its their life. When parents force a marriage, its spoiling not one but two lives including the one who is innocent.